i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
