He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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