plz talk dirty to me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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