if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
