You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
