ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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