porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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