Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
