Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
