I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize