please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
