I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
