I need help removing her.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
