yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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