After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.