dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW