toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.