Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.