I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My bed smells like the plague