WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
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Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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