So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
