he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
