I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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