so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
