Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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