no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
