She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The air was thick with penises
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
