good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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