Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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