i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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