I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
