Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
