i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
