My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
