I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
