dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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