too bad you live with your parents still
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
