the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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