butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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