that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
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better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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