Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
