Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
