I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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