You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
