i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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