im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
