Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
