While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
