My pussy is not your playground.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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