i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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