best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
