There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
