Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
