I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
