Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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