Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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