why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i dont even know how to be here
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sext me about skeletons
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
