i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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