I bet he comes in French.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
