I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
