STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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