You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
