Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
