I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
