awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
